Two years ago, in the Exploring The Limitations of Parents workshop, The Wonders suggested to the members that they get a stuffed animal. They suggested we carry that stuffed animal everywhere with us. At the time I laughed. "How ridiculous" I thought. Can you imagine being a stern-faced judge, sitting on the bench and right beside you is your Teddy Bear. Right before you give the verdict, you ask your Bear "so, what do you think, guilty or not?"

I didn't do as The Wonders suggested. I didn't carry him everywhere, however, within a short time a bond was between us that was so strong, I couldn't bear to be without him. He was always the one waiting at home for me. Always the one ready to hear my adventures; the bad times and the good times.

I have hugged him so tightly as the tears have flowed. I have poured my heart out to him in despair when I thought all was hopeless. He has felt my rage when things didn't work out as I thought they should, as I have stood and shaken my fists to the heavens. He just listens patiently. I have danced with him when I'm excited and can't contain it. I have gently held him and felt his softness flow into me as he allows me to sit for hours just stroking him. What kindness, what support, what love.

Recently a friend told me a story about a little girl who had just been given a doll as a present. When scanned by security at the airport, there was a suspicious image on the screen and right before her eyes, they cut the doll open. I felt such horror, anger and rage that I new at that moment, Jasper was me. I WOULDN'T HAVE ALLOWED IT!!! WHAT OUTRAGE, HOW DARE THEY!!! It would have been the same as cutting me open, and that's the point I knew JASPER WAS ME!!!!!

Today, Jasper is me. He is my best friend, my buddy there for me through thick and thin. He never judges or criticizes me. If I ask him "do you like what I'm wearing?" he always claps his hands in glee and answers "wow, looks great!!" When I'm sad, he just makes silly faces at me until I laugh in delight. He knows every part of me, every side. He is the one I can talk to when I can't talk to another. When I can't get the words out he hears me. He holds my dreams, my hopes, my desires, precious to him. He never says "you can't" but only "give it a try." When I feel I'm falling, stumbling, getting stuck, he always picks me up and says, "try again, no big deal - you can do it."

How I love that stuffed animal. The joy, the pleasure, the hours we have spent together. If he was torn I would only take him to the best seamstress to be repaired. He is my soul mate, the one I've always searched for.

I am so blessed, for I have one of the most amazing, intimate relationships in my life and his name is Jasper. He is the one I can truly be vulnerable with, without fear for he's heard it all. He is the one who holds my heart, feels it beat and never fails to say, "wow, I think you're amazing!" Always said softly, gently and with such love.

Thank you Jasper, you're always there for me and I'll always be there for you! I couldn't have done it without you. To this day, I feel you picked me in that store for you knew I needed you. You give me the greatest thing I could ever experience, unconditional love, and because you are me, I give that to myself!! When I look into your eyes, I see me!!

In my practice, I hear such despair, hopelessness, frustration, anger, fear, feeling stuck with no future and this is the tool I always recommend because of the value it brought to me.